Harry Potter | Wizard Rating:

Okay, so maybe the book was good. It sold a bazillion copies. Fine, but the movie is a fucking joke. Did anyone else notice that this thing is just a nice little re-working of Star Wars? What, they think that we are not going to notice? They think we are going to fall for the same concepts over and over again? Like Teletubbies and Pokemon?

Star Wars parallels are all over the place, right down to a Vader-esque villain named Voldemort, complete with dark hooded robe, begging Luke - uh, I mean, Harry to come to the dark side. "There's no such thing as good or evil Harry - only power." The flying broomstick contest is to this film as the pod race was to The Phantom Menace.

Oh yes, and then we have the Indiana Jones phase, where the kiddies have to think their way through the underground area. Just like Indiana!

On a more positive note, they put some great make-up on the little banker trolls. Production designer Stuart Craig does a great job with the shifting staircases and living paintings of Hogwarts School, the zigzag architecture of Diagon Alley, and the imposing interiors of the goblin-run Gringott’s Bank.

On a final note, remember to be very careful if you allow your children to watch this movie, because as we all know, Harry Potter is a tool leading children to witchcraft and sin